Bad things happened lately..BLESS ME..

when we are lost we need someone to give us energy and guidance.. leading us to the right path in order to see the light of our live again.. (photo taken in Kathmandu, Nepal back in Nov 2003)

So much bad things happened lately to me.. It really makes me feel so down and depressed.. and due to the feeling of depressed my sore throat and cough has not been fully recover even after a week.. finished all the medicines given by doctor.. controlling what I am eating, mostly no chili and no ice drinks.. but still the thing won't go away from me.. it really makes me PISS OFF and I started to eat chili, fried foods and ice drinks regardless the pain and suffers, since I have been a good boy but it is not helping, so I don't bother anymore.. let it pain and let me cough.. friends said I am like giving up myself!! but I am not.. I just feel piss off and wanna challenge (or my friend said torture) myself, haha.. I went for second doctor and started the medicines again.. hopefully this round will help.. BLESS ME..!!

I got an offer of new job somewhere beginning of last week.. everything seems so smooth during the final interview and I am sure I will get the offer.. but who knows.. I missed it due to the urgency of the new position and they can't wait me to report to work in September and insist me to start in mid of August which really impossible because of the situation of my current job.. I just don't want things to be left half way and leave.. some friends said just go and don't care so much.. but.. but.. it just not the way I handle things, not try to be professional.. just wanna be responsible.. when I think back now, of coz I feel wasted of the chance but indeed.. I know I still can survive with my current job although it is a hard time in my current company.. BLESS ME AGAIN..!!

The worst one happened on last Saturday night while I am crossing the road in front of Lot 10 around 1am after movie.. I bet you all know it is a one way direction now but once I step my foot to cross a motorbike hit me from my back (opposite direction..) WTF!! it is a one way road.. WTF with the motorbike doing..?? the two fucking malay boys on the bike and just looking at me, not even say sorry.. since thing happened in the flash I was totally unconscious and mind is stop functioning.. I feel pain on my face because hit by the fucking helmet and my right lap.. I just said this is a one way road, why they came from opposite direction..??) and the two BABI malays just said they want used short cut and then just left not even with a fucking sorry!! I was so lucky because I didn't fall.. else will be getting more serious.. I was standing there for about 10 mins and couldn't move because of the pain but at last I still manage to walk.. I didn't sleep well whole night partly because of the pain on my lap, but mainly is due to the worried of my leg whether I still can go for my yoga and gym.. haha!! the pain is still there in next morning but no swollen.. I still manage to walk, just it will get more painful when I wanna bend my knee especially going up and down of staircases.. I didn't go for doctor because I don't know which one to go for..?? some said go for x ray, some said chinese doctor, some said bones specialist.. so damn many ideas but make me so damn confusing... back to work on Monday although leg is still pain while walking.. finally go to see the doctor for his advise.. he said no need x ray and just something to do with the muscle and veins.. gave me some gel to massage and some medicines to release the pain.. and one more thing he highlighted.. no gym and no exercise at least one week..!!! ahhhh... one week no gym.. so damn boring.. anyway I have decided to go gym but not doing any cardio and classes.. just focus on my upper body.. better then nothing ha!! BLESS ME AGAIN.. AND AGAIN..!!!

Went to temple during lunch yesterday and it is 'Guan Ying festival' day.. pray with my heart to ask for the 'Guan Ying' to bless me and to bring me good luck and protect me.. manage to spoke to the person in charge there and she advised me not to be too depressed and talk to 'Guan Ying' what I want to do.. I talked and pray.. mentally I feel release after the pray and communication with 'Guan Yin'.. there are free vegetarian meals provided in the temple and lot of prayer enjoying their meal after the praying, I do enjoyed the meal too..

I really hope the good luck is coming to me, I had enough of bad things lately.. I will stay strong and face the situation now and try to fix each of them all the way..